


Send Me A Hero

by XtaticPearl



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Bodyguard, Angst with a Happy Ending, Getting Together, Identity Reveal, Kidfic, M/M, SHIELD has its issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-06
Updated: 2017-12-08
Packaged: 2019-02-11 10:40:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12933528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/XtaticPearl/pseuds/XtaticPearl
Summary: Tony needed a bodyguard for his kids and Steve Rogers was the most recommended pick available. Even as Tony tries to be wary of him, the guy manages to worm his way into Tony's life and soon his heart. But Steve has a secret that might be something that even Tony with his Iron Man suit cannot handle easily.





	1. Chapter 1

 

If Pepper would let him get a word sidewise, he would have clarified that he didn’t doubt Rogers. He just doubted anyone when it came to Harley’s security.

“I vetted him myself, Tony,” his CEO and primary wise-voice said, her copper red hair coming off the ponytail slightly, “You trust me, don’t you?”

“Well, yes, of course, Pep, don’t ask redundant questions,” Tony shot her a look, internally wincing when she gave him a pleased look, “but -”

“Oh come on!”

“Pep,” Tony raised a palm to pause her annoyed rebuttal, “you did get the profile on Romanoff wrong.”

“ _You_ got the profile on  _Natalie_ wrong,” Pepper shot back with narrowed eyes and Tony nodded acquiescingly.

“Fine, we both did,” he agreed, shrugging at her as he picked up the tablet from her hands, “which makes it even more possible for this to go sideways and to hell”

“Tony,” Pepper paused and took a breath, eyes softening when she put a hand on his arm, “I know that we’ve had things going wrong in the past, and yes, even if Natasha did end up saving you later -”

“I still don’t understand how she hacked into -”

“- it was still disturbing,” Pepper said firmly, cutting through Tony’s interruption, “I get that. But I also know that we can’t put off this decision for long. Harley is as much in the limelight as you now, and with the media hounds coming in everywhere, he is going to need extra security.”

“I’ve got Happy”

“No, I’ve got Happy,” Pepper corrected with a small smile and Tony made a face but nodded with an amused huff. Pepper needed Happy more than he did and Tony would never compromise with her security, especially seeing that her position made her as much of a target as him.

“I’ve got the suit, Pep. I’m Iron Man,” he suggested and got an unimpressed look.

“I wonder why you think we’re discussing this whole thing in the first place,” she said and okay, ouch, but then Pepper continued, “You have responsibilities, Tony. More than you should handle, sometimes, but they are all important. You can’t be here or with Harley all the time.”

“Maybe if I ask Fury to loan an agent or -”

“I don’t want to dignify the notion of you trusting SHIELD agents with your son’s safety by commenting,” Pepper said drily and Tony shot her a sheepish grin.

“I would trust Sharon,” he said and then sighed, “But we can’t ask her.”

“We can’t,” Pepper nodded, “Because as much as she is your friend and loves the kids, she is still busy and has SHIELD work. It wouldn’t be fair to her.”

Tony nodded absently and looked at the tablet, eyes going over the details of the candidate Pepper had finalized for the position. Captain Steven G Rogers, discharged from the Army, ex-Secret Service till he retired to join a private firm. Freelance security, worked under contract. Had the recommendations of half of the world, going by the list of names under that category.

The selling point though, was that Rogers had passed even Rhodey’s vetting. Tony could count on one hand the people who did that.

“Sometimes I think they would have been safer if I hadn’t..” Tony trailed off and ran a hand over his face but relaxed when Pepper squeezed his arm.

“Both Harley and Evey are happy with you. You did the right thing when you brought them home,” Pepper never used the word ‘adopted’ about the kids. Tony had never asked her to do that and both kids didn’t seem to mind when people did on rare occasions during social events, but Pepper firmly never used the word. It wasn’t that she considered it bad, Tony knew well, but it was something about how they were always meant to be there. Always meant to come home.

It was exactly the sort of logic that made sense only to her and Tony loved her for sticking to her beliefs, no matter how the world saw them. It was one thing that had gotten him through their break-up and his decision to adopt two kids a couple of years ago without so much as a hint.

“Alright,” he exhaled hard and looked up at her, “fix up a meeting. Let’s see how Captain Rogers fares. Oh and Pep?”

Pepper raised an eyebrow and Tony shot her a razor sharp grin.

“Make the contract air-tight. Make Houdini fail.”

Pepper returned his grin and nodded. There would be no mistakes.

“This is a mistake”

Pepper was still talking to Rogers a few feet away but Tony stared at May seriously as he hissed the words.

“What?” May Parker, Tony’s sole another single-parent-esque friend, frowned at him, “You just welcomed him to the job two minutes ago.”

“That was the Tony of the past, May, he had no hindsight,” Tony stressed and continued despite May’s eye-roll, “Two minutes later, I am wiser. This is a mistake. I should tell him to leave.”

“Okay, can the Tony of the present calm his eyebrows now?” May snorted at Tony’s frown, “Listen, I get that you’re worried. It’s why I agreed to come and ‘scruitinize the new guy’ as ‘child-friendly’. Which, I repeat, is the most ludicrous thing you’ve asked me to do.”

“I asked you to eat my cooking last month,” Tony reminded her and she nodded consideringly.

“Fair, but this is on par with that,” she paused and waited till Tony looked back at her with all his attention, “Tony, he’s good at what he does. I know that, you know that, even Harley didn’t snub him after 5 minutes of meeting him.”

“That’s...a rarity, okay,” Tony breathed out and shook his head, “I just - if it was me then it would be fine, any risk would be fine. But it’s not me. It’s the mini-mes.”

“He has stellar records, Mr. Stark,” she smiled and pointed at him, “And if he was good for a President, he should be good enough for your kids too.”

“Presidents get assassinated”

“Just hire him,” May patted his arm, knowing that any rebuttal would only go pear-shaped. Tony sighed and looked back through the glass at Steve Rogers, who seemed to sense him and looked away from Pepper at him.

Neither broke the gaze till Pepper caught Steve’s attention again and Tony cleared his throat a little.

\----

Steve Rogers woke up at hours that Tony went to sleep. This was the only explanation Tony had to how he would find the man walking in as early as he did, every day, with his crisp black suit and a Stark tac vest underneath. He never wore sunglasses, something Tony was personally offended by after believing that all bodyguards wore sunglasses. Steve never did; his azure eyes were always sharp, calm whenever he was around the kids, and steel when he was alert for danger.

Like now when Steve had Tony pinned to the floor, one hand curled on his chest with a fistful of Tony’s shirt and the other poised to punch him. Tony has been literally pinned under rocks but under Steve Roger’s bulk, something seems more dangerous.

“Hi,” he tried, finding his voice after his head had translated that he didn’t need the suit right then, “Uh, coffee?”

Steve’s eyes widened in mild surprise at recognizing Tony as not an intruder but then he resumed his casual look, smoothly sliding away from Tony and standing up to look at him.

“Sorry, sir, I wasn’t expecting you - here,” he said and Tony blinked at him, finally getting the clue that he wasn’t going to get a hand to get up. Getting to his feet, he looked around and turned back to look at Steve.

“My coffee machine malfunctioned and well, I remembered an old one on this floor,” he said as explanation for being in the floor he had allotted to Steve when the guy had moved in as per request, “Is that - it’s 5 am. Why have you dressed already?”

“Intruders don’t function with a normal alarm clock,” Steve replied and Tony raised an eyebrow, “and I like to do a sweep of the building before the day starts. Sir.”

“You don’t have to keep adding ‘sir’ to every sentence, it’s fine,” Tony waved a hand and spotted the promised coffee machine in the kitchen beyond Steve’s shoulder, making a bee-line for it, “Besides, JARVIS can do a sweep for you if you just ask him. There are cameras all over the building.”

There was a silence stretching during the time that it took Tony to add the coffee beans and let the machine work its magic and he looked over his shoulder as he picked up a mug from the shelf near the machine to see -

“What?” he asked and Steve’s eyes snapped up from Tony’s feet, which he had been frowning at. He almost expected the guy to make excuses and not explain but if he had learned one thing about the man, it was that he didn’t really hold back.

“Your nail-art,” Steve nodded at Tony’s feet and the genius wriggled his toes just to make the guy’s lips twitch, “It’s - good. Captain America?”

“Harley’s a fan,” Tony said, waiting, just waiting for the guy to laugh about Harley using nail polish or Tony getting his nails painted by his son or -

“Good choice,” Steve said and Tony blinked, “Though I would have pegged him for more of an Iron Man guy.”

“Not that I disagree, but, why so?” Tony placed a mug on the counter and waited for the machine to alert him.

He expected the usual he’s your son and who else. It was fine, he had heard them before. Steve simply shrugged.

“Seems more like a science-loving guy than a - well, punching in the face kind,” he offered and Tony, well, he was just glad that he had perfected a poker face. People didn’t catch that about Harley often, not with his show of action movie marathons and explosive experiments. For all his love of things that went boom, Harley was more of a tech genius than a physically fighting kid.

He also wasn’t great when it came to bullies. Another score for Captain America.

“My dad was a Cap fan,” Tony said and wondered why he was talking about Howard even as he continued, “He owns the largest memorabilia of the guy. After his death, that came to me and well, both Har and Evey like the stories.”

“The comics,” Steve said with a slow nod but Tony huffed a small chuckle.

“I wish, that would have been easier,” he shook his head and pulled out the pot when the alert signaled, “No, the real ones. Dad never stopped telling his stories and sometimes I pass on the ones I remember. Makes good entertainment. Hey, you want some?”

“Some?” Steve blinked like he was underwater and Tony picked up his own mug of coffee.

“Coffee, you want some?” he repeated and went to pick up another mug when Steve nodded, a strange expression on his face for a second before he was moving to get the coffee.

Tony still didn’t trust Steve but as they shared coffee and skirted around topics till Tony had to get to bed, it was good. Awkward maybe, but good.

Harley was friendly but also mildly distant with Steve but Evey had almost declared him her best friend over the next few weeks.

“Can Cap come?” she asked, bouncing on her toes, big doe eyes staring up at Tony as he asked her to pick a dress for the birthday bash they were throwing for her.

“He’s your bodyguard, so yeah, he’s coming,” Tony nodded at the dresses, “Cap?”

Evey shrugged, climbing onto the bed and standing on it, hands on her hips as she peered at the dresses she had thrown on there.

“He said that he was a Captain in the Army,” she explained, picking up a sequined shirt, “Uncle Happy said I don’t have to call him Uncle. I can’t call him Steve. So, Cap.”

“Nice,” Tony said and caught the combination she threw at him, “We’re going for a biker-cowgirl look?”

Evey grinned, mad gleam and cheek, and Tony laughed as he accepted it.

“I almost expected you to go with black again,” Tony said as he slid in beside Steve at the party, observing the kids having fun, with a bright orange soda in hand, “Nice outfit.”

“The invitation said costume party,” Steve shrugged a shoulder and Tony could see how the red, blue and white costume looked like an exact replica of the ones he had seen in the exhibition, “I see you’re...an inventor?”

“Close, detective,” Tony took a sip of the soda and looked at Steve, who looked curious, “It’s elementary, my dear Watson.”

When Steve looked confused, Tony raised an eyebrow.

“Sherlock Holmes?”

“No, I got that reference,” Steve nodded and gestured at Tony vaguely, “but I don’t see the resemblance. Isn’t there supposed to be a pipe and a hat?”

“Modern version,” Tony offered and Steve eyed him for a minute before nodding as he turned back to observe the kids.

Normally Tony would have left things and walked over to catch someone more loquacious’ attention but there was something curious, something magnetic about Steve that - made Tony stay.

“So I heard you got a new nickname,” he said and Steve’s eyes slid to him minutely, “Cap, huh?”

The shift was minute but something sheepish crossed Steve’s face and Tony was amused.

“She thought it was good,” he replied and seemed to notice something somewhere, “I’ll be right back, Mr. Stark.”

“It’s -” Tony watched the man walk away without pause and lowered his voice to a mutter, “Tony.”

They met more often and Tony admired the way Steve would balance between protecting the kids but also not intrude on their freedom. It wasn’t until the MIT Alumni meet though that he placed his trust in the guy completely.

It had been going good, the introduction and the crowd reacting excitedly to Tony’s speech, the glamour more classy than the previous years. The kids were in the front row, away from the spotlight and still watching him, though Tony was sure that Harley was more engrossed in the gadget he had nicked from one of the stalls.

Nobody had expected it, certainly not after the thorough security checks employed at entry and in the perimeter.

But one second Tony had been explaining the new BARF technology he had brought to introduce and the other second he heard a crash from somewhere in the front and squinted to see Steve leaping to pull Harley under him, dragging both the kids into his body’s cover and flattening them on the floor.

The chair Harley had been sitting in had a bullet hole a second later.

“Tony!” somebody screamed and Tony activated his bracelet but it was going to be late, it was going to be late if they didn’t find where the shooter was, it was -

Steve leaped over the stage without pause, without any struggle and Tony expected the shove but he wasn’t expecting an entire engulfing from the guy.

“Steve, Steve get off, Cap!” Tony pushed him off and got to his feet as soon as Steve did too, eyes tracking the direction of the shots, “We have to find the shooter. Get the kids and -”

“Yeah, okay,” Steve nodded quickly and left to herd the kids away but Tony saw him glance back, making sure that Tony could suit up, making sure that Tony was ready to fight.

When they finally caught the sniper, a guy hired by Hammer of all people, Steve was there.

“You should be with the kids,” Tony said in a low voice, looking Steve square in the eye but the Captain met him head-on.

“They’re fine, in the car. Happy’s wearing your spare suit.”

“In the car -”

“They wouldn’t leave you, Tony,” Steve cut him off, a burning fire in his ice-cold eyes before he blinked and it was steel, “They’re safe with us. Here.”

Maybe it was the  _us_ or maybe it was because Steve was staring at him like he would fight Tony himself if he told him to leave, but Tony breathed out and relaxed, nodding slowly.

He understood why people felt safe around the man when Steve would meet his eyes after that, something less formal behind the calmness of the blue. Steve still woke up during ungodly hours and still wore his black suit when they were out but he nodded at Tony, had a hint of a smile when something funny happened, brought Tony a cup of coffee if he got himself one.

He cared. Tony saw it in every action he took, in every minute he spent with the kids.

He knew that he was falling and pushed that thought far down in his mind.

It was more difficult than he thought when he would walk into Harley’s room and find Steve sitting on the floor, intently listening to Harley explain the schematics of his modified potato gun, not bothered by the way Evey was painting a map on his hand.

“Science in progress, huh?” Tony leaned against the door and felt his breath catch in his throat when all three of them looked up at him, a strange equal measure of fondness on their faces. Steve’s eye caught his and Tony felt helpless about the way he returned the smile Steve shot him.

“Harley was explaining about his invention,” Steve nodded and Tony had seen his son rant about much more advanced engines to Rhodey without a pause but the sincere pride in Steve’s voice brought a light blush to his face.

“Potato Mark II, yeah, I see it,” Tony walked away from the door and looked at the mess on the floor before sitting, reaching out to pick a dismantled part of the potato gun, “How’s it going, Cap? You impressed yet?”

“The range and force are improved now. The last one had a longer barrell,” Steve commented and Tony paused, shooting a glance at the guy to find him nodding at Harley.

Tony was used to people complimenting him and fellow geniuses without pause. But Steve - he understood why it was better. Why it was a genius move to do something. He understood why the compliment was deserved.

He swallowed the lump in his throat and discreetly watched Harley practically glow under the honest praise.

“Hey,” Tony stopped Steve as they left Harley’s room, a few feet away from the elevator, and Steve turned to face him, “I - uh - I just wanted to tell you that you’re - you’re doing a great job.”

Steve didn’t frown or laugh or make a face but simply nodded and Tony felt like he had to continue.

“I mean, it’s not your job to do all this,” he gestured towards the room and shrugged jerkily, “but it’s - it’s appreciated. You’re a good guy, Cap.”

“Thank you, Tony,” Steve said quietly and Tony felt his eyes linger on the man’s lips for a few seconds, the idea seeming increasingly difficult to resist.

“You could go home sometimes, you know?” he said instead and Steve’s gaze became mildly confused, “Like, the holidays are coming soon and, I’m sure your family would appreciate seeing you once in a while.”

“I’m on duty,” Steve replied and there was something stiff about it now. Tony cringed internally.

“Yeah, I know about the contract but, I could work something out,” he said, attempting a smile, “Just a couple of days won’t hurt. It’s okay.”

“If it’s all the same to you, Mr. Stark,” Steve said and the tightness of his voice had only coiled more, “I’d rather stay.”

Tony nodded and searched for words.

“That bad, huh?” he blurted and had the urge to bang his head against the wall when Steve’s gaze snapped up, “I mean, I’ve had bad family vacations, so no big deal, it’s common actually, which isn’t something nice sure but, just -”

“I don’t have a family,” Steve said and Tony paused, watching Steve look like he was brittle glass, “They’re no more.”

This was probably why Tony never was the best person to hold normal conversations with people who weren’t used to his foot-in-the-mouth problem or were strange themselves. The guilt struck him hot and he reacted without thinking.

“Sorry,” he said and caught Steve’s wrist, his brain screaming at him to stop worsening things but Steve’s eyes widened before softening, “I don’t usually say - the right things. You can stay if you want, that’s no problem.”

“It’s alright if you want me out of your hair for a few days, Mr. Stark,” Steve replied and Tony shook his head before he even completed the sentence.

“Stay, Steve,” he said and Steve’s eyes roamed over his face, searching for something before his body seemed to relax and his own hand came to squeeze Tony’s.

“Alright, Tony,” he said quietly, a small smile on his lips and Tony had never wanted to kiss someone, to lean and bridge the distance this bad.

He smiled back and nodded.

Christmas was a quiet affair, surprisingly, but Tony figured that they were owed that after the last few loud ones. Steve stayed as requested and even got them presents, despite Tony rolling his eyes and mentioning how it wasn’t mandatory in the contract to butter them up.

“It’s a good thing I’m being paid well then,” Steve teased back and Tony snorted into his glass of eggnog.

It was a soft night by the time the kids had stopped fighting over gift wrappers and Pepper had left with Happy, beaming with the rare art portrait Steve had gotten her, and Rhodey had video-chatted with everyone. Tony looked at the decorated floor and found himself smiling fondly at the shabbily put up tree that Harley had decorated with tiny arc-reactor fakes and Evey had overloaded with her eclectic collection of ornaments.

“It looks good,” Steve said as he came up to Tony and Tony laughed.

“It’s a mess,” he said as he pointed at the tree but Steve shrugged with a grin, picking up the plates and arranging them in one pile for later.

“Sometimes messes are good,” he quipped and Tony eyed his back for a minute before picking up a balled up wrapper and throwing it at him. Steve turned around slowly and Tony grinned, waggling his eyebrows.

“Mr. Stark”

“Captain”

“Did you just -” Steve caught the next ball of wrapper that Tony flung at him, raising an eyebrow but his eyes lit up in challenge, “You’ll lose.”

Tony’s grin was all teeth and he enjoyed the way his blood was lit on fire.

“Game on, Cap”

It became a no-holds-barred match, the rules pretty much extending to only don’t burn the place down, don’t kill each other, and don’t touch the kids’ floor.

“Are you serious?” Tony laughed when Steve pulled up a large showpiece plate and used it as a shield against Tony, ducking and rolling in the right places. Tony almost suited up completely but settled for the foot thrusters alone by the end, teasing and razzing Steve as he threw all the harmless things he could. Steve gave as good as he got and Tony was impressed by his eye but was too busy laughing himself sick at the way Steve curled up into a ball behind the table for a minute before jumping out like a fox, throwing things in a volley.

They collapsed on the couch breathless and chuckling after an hour or so and Tony didn’t think about how easy it felt to lean into Steve’s side, of letting Steve curl an arm around Tony’s shoulders.

Steve must have carried him to bed at some point because the next morning, Tony awoke in his own bed and looked at his bedside table to find a balled up wrapper with a note that said Good morning. I win!

By New Years, he was sure that he liked Steve more than anything close to just friendship. The easy teasing, fond looks, silent disappointed face, and warm laughter that Steve sent his way through the time made him sure that he had a chance, if anything a chance to try something.

If he hadn’t been desperate and nervous, he would have never gone for the cliche but seeing how he was, Tony didn’t mind using New Year’s as an excuse to lean in for a kiss.

They were on the balcony, just a breather from the party inside, and Steve had both the kids on sight. Tony had just made him grin, nudging his shoulder and it was easy, absolutely easy to let himself drift closer.

Steve bent his head too, moving in slowly.

Tony felt his breath on his face before Steve paused, growing still. He opened his eyes that had somehow closed themselves and looked to see Steve’s eyes looking haunted, pained and conflicted.

“Steve-?”

“I - ,” Steve’s voice cracked and his eyes looked beseeching, at war with something inside him, “I’m so sorry, Tony, I - shouldn’t.”

“The contract,” Tony cleared his throat a little and tilted his head a bit, “We could - we could take it slow. If we did this - uh, dated, I guess - you could, I could not really need a bodyguard and we could -”

“I can’t,” Steve shook his head quickly, his face almost crumpling before he took a shaky breath and his eyes steeled themselves, “I’m sorry, Tony, I can’t do this.”

“Oh,” Tony moved away, feeling his gut clench, “If I misread something, shit, of course I did, I’m sorry. If you’re not interested -”

“Please, Mr, Stark,” Steve said quietly and that, the use of his surname again, that was as good a shutdown as Tony could get. He nodded and moved back.

“Have a happy New Year, Captain,” he said quietly and shot Steve an apologetic smile, feeling embarrassment and shame welling in him, “I’m sorry for making this awkward. I’m sure you have a sexual harassment clause in your contract. You should use that as you see fit. I, uh, I think there are a couple of SI lawyers who could help you if you need them.”

“Tony”

“It’s fine, it was my fault,” Tony said, ignoring the strangled note to Steve’s voice and nodding firmly, “I never asked you and - seriously, this isn’t on you, it’s my fault. I’ll even recommend you to better places of employment after -”

“Stop, please,” Steve caught hold of Tony’s elbows, gripping them tight and making Tony look up at him, finding him looking hurt, and that was another hell altogether, “You didn’t - I need to explain things, this wasn’t how I expected everything to go and -”

“I know,” Tony felt wretched and wished he had never even tried anything but he mustered up a smile and tried to move away, “I know, Cap, I should have -”

“Jesus, Tony, stop - stop talking,” Steve said and Tony snapped his mouth shut, letting Steve inhale a deep breath, “I was talking about - “

Steve’s voice tapered off and Tony saw him look over Tony’s shoulder at something out.

“Steve?”

“Doombots,” Steve said once and released Tony to spin around towards the party, going in and yelling, “Everybody! Take cover, get out, right now, go! Move, move! Harley, Evey, come on!”

Tony whirled around to find the approaching speck of a doombot and scrambled to suit up himself.

“JARVIS?!”

“Armour dispatched, sir,” the AI said through the speakers and Tony had just enough time to let the torso suit up and gauntlets fix up before the Doombot split into two and fired.

It was a mess in minutes and Tony tried to steer the bots away from the Tower but it seemed like Doom had personally sent his entire horde as a New Year’s present, as they kept coming. He was busy fighting three of them, all reinforced with better casing clearly, when he heard JARVIS warn about two more on his tail.

He sliced through the ones in front of him and tried to turn fast, but heard a crash and looked in time to see Steve slamming a bot into the wall, driving an entire table into it.

It was probably important to mention that Steve then punched through the second bot with his bare fist and destroyed it in seconds.

“Kids are secured,” Steve panted when he saw Tony staring at him and Tony had just enough time to turn and dive into the fight to think one thought.

How was Steve this strong?

It wasn’t until later, when Steve caught a thrown sofa with relative ease, that Tony felt his suspicion grow.

“Are you okay?” Steve asked when they had finally sorted out the mess and the aftermath was under cleanup. He came closer like he was going to check and Tony’s arm came up without thought.

“Who are you?” he asked, armour still in place, and Steve paused.

“Tony?”

“I saw you punch through a metal I couldn’t hurt at first try,” he said, gauntlet pointed at Steve, “I saw you do a lot of things that you shouldn’t be able to do, come to think of it, because you never- you never seem hurt, do you?”

“Tony -”

“Even in the past, you’ve never been actually hurt,” Tony said out loud, mind racing, “Your reflexes are not just good, they’re better than the best human reflexes possible. You’ve heard things that I can’t at the same distance, and it shouldn’t be possible despite your claims of a better hearing. That’s not the explanation. You got cut by Harley’s tools a month back and you just had a scar the next day even though Har told me that it was a deep cut. That - that isn’t how people heal.”

Tony took a breath and asked again, a deathly calm taking over his voice.

“Who are you?”

Steve stared at him for a minute before he breathed out and faced Tony straight.

“My name is Captain Steven Grant Rogers - “

“That’s not what -”

“But,” Steve spoke over Tony, not raising his voice but the tone commanding as it was, “you would know me better by another name.”

There was a pause before Steve continued, voice low and steady.

“I’m Captain Steven Grant Rogers of WWII, 1945,” he said, “Also known as Captain America.”

Tony could not be blamed for firing at Steve in the gut for that.

\----

“So,” Tony asked when he came up to the couch where Steve sat an hour later, a bandage over the mild hurt, thankfully mild because of Tony’s missed aim (thank you JARVIS) and Steve’s superior reflexes, “how about you tell me the truth now?”

Steve didn’t look up for a second and Tony almost spoke again before Steve shot him a glance.

“Did you know how I crashed the plane?” he asked and Tony frowned but Steve was continuing, “I had gotten rid of Skull and I could have landed except for the damned Hydra cube - the Tesseract - it was going to blow. Or malfunction. It was unstable and I couldn’t let it touch the population ahead.”

Steve paused and ran a hand over his face, shaking his head.

“I had a girlfriend. Well, a lady, but we had - something,” he shrugged, looking away from Tony, “She was an agent with SSR, Peggy Carter. She was on the radio with him when I knew that I had to crash. I guess she wanted to try and bring me back.”

He stared straight and Tony remembered Aunt Peggy, he felt his blood pounding as he watched Steve.

“She kept begging me to wait, to not give up till she had gotten Howard to come and find a way,” Steve laughed a little, bitter and fading, “Howard was a genius, not the same as you but also not lesser. He was the one who would always pull us out of messes we couldn’t fix.”

“Lucky you,” Tony said and Steve didn’t react.

“Not so lucky, because he wasn’t there at that time,” he looked down at his hands, “I had a compass with Peggy’s picture on it and water stretched all below the sky, nothing else in sight. I knew I was going to die. I knew that it was the end. But I wanted something, anything to hope for. Anything to hold on to. And I asked her on a date.”

Steve leaned back on the couch and huffed.

“I was going to die and I finally gathered the courage to ask a lady for a date. To a dance,” he revealed and Tony - he could see the way Steve was just letting go, letting the chips fall. “I crashed and froze. I woke up in a hospital room and the world isn’t mine. My world didn’t freeze with me, apparently, It had moved on and given way to another. I had survived. Nobody else had.”

Tony didn’t say a word, couldn’t find a word to say with his conflicted emotions but Steve looked up at him.

“Peggy was alive though and I went to meet her,” he confessed, like it was a terrible thing, “I escaped the SHIELD regulations and went to meet her and...she couldn’t remember me. She was 98 years old and she couldn’t remember me. Alzheimer’s they said.”

“SHIELD?” Tony asked and Steve shrugged.

“I was discovered on an American expedition and SHIELD oversaw my - defrosting,” he said in ill humour, “I had to be kept a government secret till they figured out how to explain it to anyone or everyone.”

“So the whole experience thing…”

“True, actually,” Steve shot Tony a glance before staring ahead, “I was put to use a month after I was defrosted, not in an actual battle but for the President’s security detail. Apparently, Ellis was in on the secret and was a big fan, who wanted to take some advantage for his own security. My records were created and given to me, and I had a job. To protect the President.”

“Son of a bitch,” Tony cursed under his breath and Steve smiled sadly.

“It wasn’t so bad,” he said, “I was useful and I had something to keep me busy.” Steve eyed the lights still decorated along the wall and smiled a little at them. “It was fine till the re-election and then,” he shrugged, “I couldn’t be used by them anymore. I tried to get out then, leave and find another place. Try to start a life if possible. Try to grieve in peace.”

“But SHIELD,” Tony surmised and Steve nodded slightly.

“There was a contract they handed me. A non-disclosure, they said,” he breathed in and let it out, “I couldn’t reveal my true identity, my title or my revival to anyone if I wanted to get away. I would walk out as Steve Rogers and not as Captain America.”

“They tried to own you,” Tony realized in dawning disgust.

“It was a barter for my freedom,” Steve nodded and looked at him calmly, “I took it.”

“Steve -” Tony paused and breathed out, “Why did you reveal anything now?”

“When I took the deal, I had nothing other than my life,” he said, slow and cautious, “It was the only thing that was mine anymore, The only thing I could lose. After SHIELD, I took up a job with a private firm, with Coulson providing guarantee because, well I guess he felt bad for me.”

“More like he was a fan,” Tony said and Steve nodded.

“Maybe,” he sighed and eyed Tony, “I met with Director Fury after Christmas and tried to pull out of the deal. I knew what I wanted, I knew that I needed to tell you everything before I could even try to ask for what I wanted, but I needed out of that deal first.”

“He refused?”

“He didn’t have a choice, the Army has interference,” Steve replied and Tony made a face, not quick enough to hide his reaction, “I wouldn’t have done anything but today - you didn’t do anything I’ve not wanted to do for months now, Tony. It wasn’t harassment, even if I appreciate you being concerned and aware of it. I wanted it, I want it. You and this and everything that comes with it. Keeping it hidden was difficult but throwing it away now, when I could even try, that might not be worth anything. I had to explain. I had to make you understand everything.”

Tony was silent for a while, letting the thoughts sink in. He was hurt, yes, and even angry. He had trust issues and this - well, this was an entire tower built on them. Not to mention the amount of baggage this would bring with his past.

But he had nothing against Steve. Even as he had all of these, he had nothing to hate Steve for. Nothing to hurt him with or for.

Nothing that had changed that he still lov-liked Steve.

“You’ve protected my kids well, always,” Tony said quietly, “Even when you didn’t - when we didn’t have any complications, you treated them better than you needed to. There are very few people who have been there for us the way you have, and - I am thankful for that. For all that you’ve given and done for us.”

“But,” Tony pushed on despite the hurt that twinged his throat, “this isn’t just about you or me. This isn’t about the lies or the hiding or just - everything that I know now. This is about what is right for all of us. What is right for Harley and Evey. Whether they can trust you. Whether we can trust each other. And Steve - I know that you’re good, but I still trusted the wrong things. I believed something, a lot of things, and now everything seems like it wasn’t real.”

“It was, Tony -”

“But I need to believe that, Steve,” Tony stressed and Steve fell quiet, “I’ve had people betray me before. People who spent years building trust with me. And I can’t - I can’t forget that, Cap.”

Steve swallowed and nodded once.

“I understand”

“I’m sorry,” Tony said and he didn’t know what the apology was for; for the life Steve had lost, for the freedom he had to barter, for the hope he had held, for crushing the hope. He didn’t know but he was sorry.

Steve breathed out and looked at Tony once before getting up.

“Me too,” he said and let his mask fall in place, “According to the rules, I can’t stay here anymore. I need to report to SHIELD and figure things out. I need - “

“- to go, yeah, I understand,” Tony nodded, feeling his throat close up, “I’ll have Pepper send your termination and compensation details over.”

Steve didn’t reply and simply looked at Tony before nodding once.

“Take care, Mr. Stark,” he said and turned around to walk out.

“You too, Cap,” Tony told an empty room when Steve had left.

* * *

 

_There will be a part 2 with a hopeful/happy ending tomorrow. Let me know if you liked it!_


	2. Chapter 2

The move to DC was supposed to be an imposition, a measure to divert the attention from the fallout after Steve’s reveal to the authorities concerned. There had been demands and comments from Ross but Steve hadn’t really bothered with hot air talk even before the 21st century so he was more bothered by the end consequences.

Which turned out to be a relocation to DC.

In a way, it came as a blessing in disguise and Steve took it. He bought a house and painted it in the most nondescript colours he could. There were glassware on shelves and white dinner sets that spoke of magazine culture. The TV was a welcome gift from Fury and Steve didn’t switch it on, keeping the music players he bought off a second hand dealer switched on instead. There was beige on the curtains and brown on the carpet but there was no red. No gold or green or blue. Nothing to warm or cool the walls, to break down their image into a mess. Nothing to clean up after because there were no messes. It was clean. It was spotless.

It wasn’t a home and Steve lived through nights there.

“You ever plan on actually coming to one of these?” Sam asked when he met the guy at the VA as the last group dispersed. Steve had met the ex-PJ during a morning run and it had struck him how much he missed just having _friends_ ; thinking about Tony and Harley and Evey hurt but it was a different ache, an ache of missing family. Sam wasn’t Bucky or Peggy and Sam wasn’t Tony but he was - a friend. It felt better with that in mind.

“You do a good job of knocking me one outside this class anyway,” Steve deflected with an attempt at a grin and Sam shook his head but left it be, going along with the latest gossip he had to share about the new receptionist he met and such. It was a cop-out but Steve had enough practice at this and he was fine.

He was fine enough to fight, to do his job. To be a soldier.

He didn’t call Tony and it hurt, in an unacceptable way even, but it hurt quietly that Tony wouldn’t call him either. Steve didn’t just miss seeing Tony and bantering with him or feeding him the most unusual smoothies that were possibly just chlorophyll. He missed the kids too, with a burn that twinged whenever he remembered something about them randomly, like the way Evey would scrape her spoon loudly against her bowl when she was annoyed or how Harley would scratch his brow with his thumb when he was in that mood between annoyed and nervous.

Steve knew loss as a leeching friend by now and he lived with it.

It became painful only when he ran into Fury at the VA a month after his shift. The Director eyed Steve for a minute across the hallway before walking into one of the rooms they kept for group counselling. Steve considered not taking the clue but he wasn’t interested in causing a scene there yet, so he nodded his goodbye to Sam and a few others before walking into the room.

“Nice gig you’ve got going,” Fury said, reading through a thin file he had either picked up from the table or had brought himself. Steve could pick up the words EXO-7 on them but the rest was hidden, so he focused on meeting Fury’s eyes.

“Pays my dues,” he said and walked towards a chair near the wall, “You got something better?”

“Depends on how you take this,” Fury said and finally looked at Steve, smiling slightly, a ghost of an expression, “Did you get a call from Ross’ office recently?”

“I just learnt about this nifty thing called blocking contacts but haven’t tried that yet, so fortunately not,” Steve replied, standing beside the chair, holding his position of equal standing, “Am I supposed to be getting one?”

“Hopefully the last one,” Fury said and waved a second file, one under the older one, at Steve, “I’ve got your release statement.”

“What?”

“It’s not a complete discharge, not unless you want it to be,” Fury shrugged a shoulder and stared straight at Steve, “but you’re officially not tied to the Army anymore. Not in any way that will restrict you from revealing your identity or engaging in other similar security organization, should you choose it. You’re free, Captain.”

Steve’s world has spun a couple of times, leaving him stumbling and torn in its wake, but his poise had never broken once and he swallowed once. His knees were locked against collapse and he strode forward towards Fury, picking the outstretched file from his hand.

“How?” he asked even as his eyes absorbed the details printed in complex, broken letters and jargon. It was just a piece of paper but Steve felt like the shovel had cracked through his coffin and let the air in, like the grave was proven false and he was alive again. The plain black and white words let a shade of colour pass through the ice blue he had kept hidden ever since he had woken up, and Steve had never been a crier but the lump in his throat was compelling.

“Just another hero, I suppose,” Fury said and pulled out an envelope from inside his leather jacket, “Iron Man. You must have heard of him.”

Steve’s eyes snapped to the envelope and he knew, he _knew_ that Fury was a master at picking up cues but he also knew that his face must have changed because it wasn’t just Iron Man, it was _Tony_.

“How?” he repeated though and Fury paused before sighing lightly.

“Mr. Stark works as a consultant with us and we had a mission for him a few weeks back,” he said and smirked at the envelope, “Turns out, the guy has a problem with sticking to orders and exceeding expectations.”

“Ross,” it clicked in Steve’s mind and he looked up at Fury who nodded with a mild grimace.

“General Ross was in a position of threat for something we needed to protect,” he explained and Steve noted the skip over _something_ but focused on what he said next, “We needed a roadblock for him and Mr. Stark is somewhat of an expert in dealing with assclowns, as he put it eloquently to a Congress committee once.”

“They tried to take Iron Man,” Steve dismissed that casually but continued, “What does this have to do with me?”

Fury smiled at this and Steve forced heat down from his face.

“It so happened that the funding to - well, _find_ you was credited to the Starks for years,” Fury said, “Seeing as all expeditions and teams employed for this cause were funded by them, Howard Stark made an official claim on your title in his last years.”

“Excuse me?” Steve asked, a frown on his face and Fury rolled his eye.

“It was decided that the title would be guarded and the exhibits of yours be safe with him,” the Director explained and Steve felt an unpleasant churning in his gut, “but after his death, Tony became the legal heir of _everything_ , which included things he didn’t think he would ever want or choose.”

“What did he do?” Steve asked because he felt a dawning mix of horror and relief.

“He bought you, Cap,” Nick said bluntly and Steve resisted the flinch, “He bought you out and then told me to give you this. Don’t worry, I know to keep some secrets as they should.”

Steve took the envelope from Fury and nodded, waiting till he left before leaning against the table and sagging. Tony. _Tony_. The man had done something that Steve didn’t know if he should be offended by later but for now, in that moment, all he could feel was a rush of homecoming.

He put the file down and opened the envelope that was marked as simply ‘Cap’. The penmanship was so familiar that for a moment Steve breathed in and out before getting to the letter.

_Cap,_

_It’s probably not the best housewarming present but with how things are and how great my past gift choices have been, I thought I’d go for something simple this time. I don’t know if Fury explained things any more than just ‘come work for SHIELD now’ but just in case he didn’t, I’m clarifiying things._

_You’re free, as you always should have been and always should be._

_I know you’re going to make a face and have moral issues with some things surrounding this but Steve, I don’t think anybody could own you. Firstly, it would be illegal and secondly, you’re not a title, you’re a person. If I hadn’t met you or known you the way I got to, I would probably one of those schmucks who weighed you by your legends and title alone. The thought makes me cringe right now but it’s the truth; I’m no above the average man in that aspect, even if there are - okay, JARVIS is judging me with static right now. The point is that you are a good man and far more than the serum they keep using as bait to keep you in line. Well, try to. You’re a better man for not kicking their faces in and moving to a place where you ‘owed’ nobody anything but I suppose that’s why you are who you are._

_As you would have known by now, and I hope we never need to have this conversation face-to-face, but Dad and I never saw eye-to-eye on many things. A year back, I thought that you were one of those things. I understand that that’s on me and him to a larger extent but it could have gone that way. I’m glad it didn’t. Now I understand why he missed you so much._

_It’s weird sympathizing with him, but I do because I miss you too, and you live just across the country._

_It took me years of boredom and purposeless work to finally reach a point where I could try to be good, where I could try to be more than I was. It took me even less time spent with you to realize that I am better when you are around. Harley and Evey took the news far better than me and I know that it speaks poorly of me when I say that, but I am glad that they are better than me. I am glad that they know to love you right._

_I never said this right when you were here, but I am sorry too. I am sorry for the world you wish you had woken up in and for the friends you could have been more honest with. I am sorry for the woman you could have loved without hesitation and the life you could have built with your time. I am sorry for everything you have lost, Steve, and I know that an apology does nothing in such things. Call me selfish though, but I also am glad you are here, in this world and century and time. I am glad you woke up in our world and for the friendship you gave. I am glad for the love you showed to my family and the life you have a chance at building today, because Steve, I am glad that you exist. I am glad that Steve Rogers exists and that I met him instead of meeting a legend first. I have no doubt that I would have learned to l-like you then too but time, I don’t know how much time we would have wasted in that._

_Maybe ‘waste’ is the wrong word. Nothing spent doing for someone worthy is a waste, right?_

_I wish I could be more of the man who knew to be worth of what you once offered, Steve. I wish I could be that, and I think this wish will last a lifetime. But if not that, then maybe I can be the man who lets you go - who gives you back the freedom that was always yours._

_You protected what was precious to me once. Let me do the same for you, Cap._

_Stay safe, Steve._

_Yours,_

_Tony_

Steve saw the tear fall onto the paper and shut his eyes, caging them in and holding them close. Those tears were his, were theirs, and he saved them the way he couldn’t save much of his life.

He folded the paper and tucked it safely in his breast pocket.

Picking up the file Fury had left for him, he walked out towards his freedom.

The decision to work with SHIELD and specifically STRIKE force was an easy one when Steve made it, the urge to do what he wanted to do now tempted by the need to start living in the present. Sam once remarked on him looking older sometimes but he had a smile on his face and Steve smiled back.

Growth was good.

He met Natasha Romanoff, the Black Widow, on his first briefing of STRIKE and instantly understood why Fury sent her to evaluate Tony.

“I heard you worked for Stark for a while,” she said as they met in the gym, perfectly composed and at ease in her workout clothes, “What was _that_ like?”

Steve hit the punching bag twice in succession and answered without turning.

“Classified. But I’d recommend him.”

They sparred after that and Steve felt like he had earned some unspoken approval when the redhead spy nodded after 3 rounds, looking mildly satisfied.

“It’s good to meet you, Captain,” she said before walking out of the gym, leaving Steve not particularly sure what he had passed.

It wasn’t until a month later though that the real challenge came up.

“An alien God,” Steve repeated as he stood in the gym, holding Fury’s briefing papers, “with the Tesseract.”

“And he doesn’t plan on using it for peace,” Fury nodded and Steve’s hand briefly tightened around the file.

 _Neither did you_ he thought before picking up a punching bag and leaving, “I’ll report soon.”

The call to stop Loki, not a Norse _myth_ apparently, in Germany came soon and Steve felt a sense of deja vu when the God had some familiar dictatorial terms he was pouting outside the museum.

“Kneel,” Loki said when he tried to knock Steve out and pressed the end of his staff against Steve’s helmet.

“Not today,” Steve decided and got back into the fight, which he was rapidly losing.

Till he heard the PA system of the SHIELD’s jet blare out _Shoot To Thrill_ and turned around to see a red and gold armour descend.

Iron Man knocked Loki out and raised his gauntlets at him, all possible missiles locked on target.

“Your move, Reindeer Games,” Tony said and Steve moved, gravitating towards him immediately, to stand beside him. There were a million things he wanted to say, a million confessions he wanted to make.

There were no words he had anymore.

“Mr. Stark,” he said, a remembered past coming to lips and the Iron Man helmet nodded once.

“Captain”

Steve suppressed a grin and faced Loki, who was surrendering to them.

The flight back to the Helicarrier was awkward for many reasons and Steve noticed Tony not looking at him, shockingly familiar and still alien in the way he held his mask. He had an inane urge to hold his shield and searched for a topic, _any_ topic, to try and break the silence.

"I don't like it." he blurted and Tony turned slightly, a frown marring his face for a minute before he inched closer to Steve

"What?” Tony asked, eyeing Loki for a second before his gaze flicked back to Steve, “Rock of Ages giving up so easily?"

Steve nodded once and moved closer, leaning as though he was confessing something, sharing a secret.

"I don't remember it being ever that easy,” he said and Tony’s brow raised, “This guy packs a wallop."

There was amusement on Tony’s face now, wry and mildly fond before Steve caught Natasha eyeing them from the pilot’s seat and Tony must have caught it too because he shrugged with a shoulder.

"Still, you are pretty spry,” he commented and his eyes slid up and down Steve’s costume, making Steve glad that they weren’t in a private setting yet because this was flirting and Steve had been waiting to reciprocate for months now, “for an older man.” Tony added and Steve raised an eyebrow in reply but Tony continued, blinking innocently at Steve “What's your thing? Pilates?"

“What?” Steve asked flatly because he had been introduced to pilates and he couldn’t say that he was the biggest fan.

“It’s like calisthenics,” Tony shrugged and Steve could see the twitch of Tony’s lips, “Must have missed a couple of things, doing time as a Capsicle.”

 _Hilarious_ , Steve wanted to say in a deadpanned tone because he had been witness to a couple and more of Tony’s dad jokes before but this was just - bad.

“Fury didn’t tell me he was calling you in,” Steve said instead and Tony cleared his throat before looking away slightly.

“Fury doesn’t tell a lot of things,” he evaded which meant that Fury _hadn’t_ called Tony in for this particular mission. Steve bit back a sigh and a laugh at the way Tony was acting ‘cool’ instead of sheepish.

“Right,” he said and left it at that but Tony looked at him, a half-smile on his face, before there was a round of unexpected thunder.

When Loki looked nervous at that, Steve knew that things weren’t going to go smoothly. He was just frustrated when Tony jumped out of the jet as some new guy flew in and took Loki away.

“I would sit this one out, Cap,” Natasha suggested but Steve was already getting ready to follow Tony.

“I don’t see how I can do that,” he replied before jumping out of the jet as well, knowing that Tony would need either back-up or an intervention.

Turned out it was a mix of both. Tony didn’t look him in the eye on their way back with _Thor_ in tow, but Steve could detect the faint flush on his face before the helmet covered it.

He didn’t know if he was annoyed or exasperatedly fond.

It didn’t matter though, when Tony met Dr. Bruce Banner and Steve watched in amusement as the genius tripped over his words to gush at the guy. He considered the thought of feeling jealous but Tony was honestly looking so _giddy_ at meeting a personal hero of sorts that Steve simply tried to keep him focused on the problem and kept the amusement to himself.

Which would have been fine if Tony didn’t plan on giving him a heart attack every five minutes, especially with his idea of poking Banner in attempts to see if he had a control of Hulk.

“Is this a joke to you?” he asked Tony, bewildered and worried as he imagined a scenario where Banner Hulked out and Tony would have gotten squished in seconds.

“If it’s funny it’s a joke, but jury’s out,” Tony shrugged and Steve could see the manic energy in the way Tony’s hands didn’t stop moving or the way he kept pacing around them. He refused the offered blueberries and tried to focus on finding out the problem that was troubling Tony.

And that led to another argument that simply went over both their heads.

“We have a mission,” Steve stressed, squashing the urge to hold Tony by the shoulders and make him grounded on one point, “It’ll be better if we follow the requirements of that for now.”

“I’m not the following kind of guy,” Tony popped a blueberry into his mouth and raised a brow at Steve, who shot Tony a dry look as he saw the reflection of Harley’s mannerism.

Tony shrugged which meant that he recognized the unspoken comparison too. Steve sighed and let them be as he left the lab to go and work on a gut feeling that had taken sprout after Tony’s speculation about SHIELD’s interests in Tesseract.

If someone had asked him later, Steve would have tried to explain how it was the anger and betrayal of knowing SHIELD’s intention of following Hydra methods of making weapons out of Tesseract that pushed him to the snapping point. How it was the Sceptre that influenced his mind. How they were all high strung.

He would explain all of this but none of it matters or would be entirely true.

It was possibly the frustration and sadness and turmoil of innumerable emotions that had gathered over time that had pushed him into the point of almost snapping when his confrontation of Fury turned into an argument with Tony. Maybe he was angry, at himself, at Tony for buying his freedom, at every person who didn’t deserve his anger but still made no sense to him. Maybe it was a million things but none of them justified the outburst.

“You’re not the kind of guy to lay down on the wire and let the others crawl over you,” he taunted as images of Bucky and Peggy and countless faces he would never see, _could_ never see, flashed before him in a red haze, “You’re not the guy to make the sacrificial play.”

It was a self-taunt at best because Steve knew what the world thought of him as, and he felt bitter about it at times. He had chosen to become a soldier but he was still the saviour, of those he knew and those he didn’t. Wars never ended and victories never mattered because there was always another war at hand. No matter how many sacrifices they made, how many people they lost, it would never be enough.

He was always destined to remain laying on the wire and Steve didn’t know how much longer he would taste the mud as ghosts pressed on over his back.

Tony’s eyes flashed and Steve knew it would hurt even before the words fell out of his mouth.

They did and he knew that they were nothing he hadn’t told himself before.

When the explosion came and Tony tumbled, Steve’s mind cleared and his focus sharpened. His hands fit against Tony’s hips as he steadied him and didn’t move away even as they tumbled out of the lab and rushed towards the sections where the suit was kept.

“Tony -”

“Meet you at the engine section H,” Tony cut him short and Steve met his eyes before nodding. They would have time later. To talk and sort things out. To salvage what they could.

When Coulson’s death was announced, Steve met Tony’s eyes and knew that grief had never left them. That they were both men who were pallbearers of ghosts and pasts. That they would always be united by doom.

He didn’t say a word as Tony walked away from the table when Fury explained how Coulson had believed in the Avengers Initiative. Words were not meant to be thrown away when he needed to say more than he could.

They never spoke about it and instead, found out Loki’s motive, and this was who they were. Balance. Pointbearers for each other and Tony nodded in confidence when Steve told him to go ahead. That he would follow. That he would come for him.

Gathering a team was comparatively easy and Steve just hoped that they would be enough, that this would be enough.

In the end they were. Time wasn’t.

Steve had watched Bucky fall from the train once, fingers a hand away from grasp, and had thought that nothing would hurt worse than that.

But it did.

He watched Tony rise, into and through a wormhole to another world, away from home, away from him, and the grief slammed into him with seventy years of vengeance.

He felt his lips freeze even as he ordered Natasha to close the portal and hoped that Harley would never forgive him. That Evey would never look at him with compassion.

Because he wouldn’t do either. He would never be able to forgive himself for this or grant himself kindness. He wished he had never met Tony and that hurt, it hurt more than the wounds bleeding in his body, because he had never felt more alive than when he had met Tony.

To not have met him would have meant to have felt dead inside for longer.

He looked down, away from where Tony had flown into his death and took a breath, smoke filling his lungs, and wondered why he was a hero. Why he was still standing there.

When Thor commented about Tony coming back, Steve’s head snapped up and he watched the armour plummet down. It wasn’t flying. It was falling and he couldn’t - he didn’t have an order, he didn’t have an instruction ready.

He wasn’t ready to lose Tony.

He didn’t and he had never been more grateful to Hulk than he did when the green arms caught and released Tony onto the pavement. They wrenched the faceplate off and Steve wished for just another breath, just a heartbeat, anything to prove that Tony would come back.

Hulk seemed to agree when he roared and Steve felt a rush of life spring into him the moment Tony’s eyes opened, unerringly meeting his.

“What the hell,” Tony gasped and Steve’s hand still rested on the chest plate, “What just happened? Please tell me nobody kissed me. If you did then I need a recording, because I’ve been dreaming about this for too long and I didn’t expect _this_ but this is a good excuse to get a kiss, right, I mean -”

Steve leaned down and pressed his lips to his forehead and Tony stuttered to a stop.

“We won,” he said and Tony was staring up at him, wide-eyed and awed and everything Steve hadn’t known he wanted.

“Great,” Tony said, voice hoarse, eyes flicking over Steve’s face, “Uh, you should try that again but with better mark. A little lower.”

Steve grinned and there was still an aftermath to deal with but he had finally won and this victory mattered.

“Later,” he said and Tony’s eyes softened, like he hadn’t expected a later, “We’ve still got some things to finish first.”

“Alright,” Tony nodded once and eyed Hulk for a glance before asking Steve, “maybe with a little food too? You ever tried shawarma? There’s this shawarma place down the block and I don’t know what it is but I want to try it.”

Steve let his hand find Tony’s armoured one and squeezed.

“No doubt.”

It was probably poetic that their second first-kiss was interrupted by Harley and Evey tackling them into a _you survived_ hug but Steve laughed at Tony’s sigh and hugged the kids back.

It was good to be home again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments make your writers feel better! Leave a comment!


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